The Latest

As term 1 wraps up, I am realizing I never even finished talking about the first day of school properly yet.  There is so much to tell and so little time to write.  Hours at school are long and the struggles are sometimes inexplicably strange and difficult to solve.

A few weeks ago I had the hell weekend.  You know the one I mean.  This was the weekend when that smile you've been pushing through, not fake but sometimes unrepresentatively prominent, sort of gets trampled in a hurricane of worry, frustration and tears.  The truth is that teaching in a local Kazakh school is only sort of like the job I've been doing for the past 4 years.

Here team teaching removes the option of "shooting from the hip", a time-honored skill and right of teachers from time to time.  It also adds meetings.  Meetings are no longer a weekly endeavor, but rather a daily requirement.

Here I struggle without some of the tools of the trade that I have become used to and in some cases reliant on.  I refer to a desk, computer, classroom, paper, printer, copier, scissors, stapler, etc.

Here my job description is very loosely defined, not something I deal well with.  My twin roles of teaching and mentoring teachers are often in conflict.  My role as International Subject Leader is unclear and time consuming.

So the weekend passed, the smile returned, maybe not in full force, but it has definitely returned.  I do feel that I am part of an important project here.  The cost is great, but the reward is not only worth it but, in my opinion, very achievable.  Just maybe not today, or even this year.

The good news is that some of my weaknesses are being exploited.  Yes, this is good news because I find myself stretching, working harder to do my job here and maybe some of those muscles need a little bit of exercise for me to become a better person.

The great news is that I have Scott with me.  This man is an incredible strength to me and puts up with a lot of emotion, more emotion than he probably thought possible from one human.. happiness, sadness, frustration, exhaustion, loneliness, enjoyment.  He did mention that he loved roller coasters before he married me, so you could say he asked for it.  But honestly he serves selflessly, loves consistently and completely, cooks well and often, endures hardship without complaint, and still finds time to smile and tell me he loves me like butter.